BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE, TAKE YOUR TIME
WHAT IS LOVE?
Love is defined as a strong affection, a feeling of intense care towards another. It’s also defined as a profound and caring attraction towards someone.
Love has many definitions by human analogies and understanding but Love is far deeper than that. More than a mere feeling or romantic attachment, love is an action word, LOVE IS SACRIFICE. It is best described in the Holy Bible 1 Cor 13; so we must then look at the passage to get a good picture of what we want to talk about.
Before you fall in love you must first consider these factors, before delving into the complexity of the emotional puzzle called Love. These factors will help you access your maturity to play in the game of love.
This is because a delicate matter of the heart is best avoided than regretted.
Humans have reduced love to just a show of affection, and far worse, sexual attraction and satisfaction. This is why we have so many broken homes, broken hearts, broken relationships, broken trust in our society today. Love is not just a feeling that comes and goes whenever it pleases. This is because it has the tendency to last forever but feelings don’t.
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Our feelings are very unstable, volatile and unpredictable and we can never build a solid structure on an unstable platform. This moment we feel like seeing someone so badly that we travel miles to meet them, only to spend a day or two with them and lose that feeling. We can never be in love if all we have is feeling, though important, it’s just icing on the cake.
Now let’s look at the Characteristics of Love as described in the Bible.
Patient; this is content to wait diligently, if necessary and not losing temper while waiting.
Are you willing to be patient while the other person gets things right? Can you persevere? endure the extras and complexity of being with someone for the rest of your life? These questions need your sincere answers because genuine love comes at a cost.
Patience will place a demand on your satisfaction, freedom, and pleasure. So if you have a problem with patience, reconsider falling in love.
This is making a constant effort to manage the flaws and undoing in the other person even when they don’t know how to manage yours. Patience is a virtue get ready to exercise a lot of it if you wish to fall in love.
Kind; This is having a benevolent, courteous, friendly, generous, gentle, liberal, sympathetic or warm-hearted nature.
The tendency to be affectionate at all times is a demonstration of love. Irrespective of the other’s attitude or character, we must show kindness in all. Not a matter of if they worth it or not show kindness. Even when you don’t feel like you must be committed to showing kindness. Can you do that?
Humble; Near to the ground not high or loft, near to the ground, not pretentious, not proud.
Humility puts a burden on you not to think highly of yourself compared to the other. It means taking a fall for what you didn’t bargain and still remain loyal and faithful.
This is a very difficult characteristic of love because it takes maturity to possess. Never speaking rudely, nor display of arrogance, not boastful, always willing to learn, teach, and be corrected without offense. A humble spirit always appears to be cheated in the human sense of reasoning, and logic but they are most revered.
this should be the mother of all characteristics of love because it talks about sacrifice. Love is not self-seeking, love is selfless, you consider others first before yourself. So are you willing to sacrifice your comfort, substance, values, worth, to put the one you love instead?
These are issues that lead to broken homes, relationships and marriages when not properly addressed before the journey. Selflessness talks about exhibiting every other characteristic of love without considering reciprocation.
Forgiving; this is not just the tendency to let go of wrong done to you, but not to be easily angered, and keeping no record of hurt. It is proof that we love someone genuinely when we easily let go of any pain in the past and still accept them. Obviously, not societally correct because people say forgive but don’t forget what led to it.
True, but genuine love makes you vulnerable to be hurt by the same person over and over again. Still, you keep forgiving and trust them not to hurt you again for the 10th time.
Trust; even when it is clear that they don’t worth it , you keep trusting, believing they will get it right. A society laced with traits of unfaithfulness, infidelity, greed and so on, makes trust an impossible commodity. But, when it comes to love you must be willing to trust, at all times.
Without trust, you can’t love. Without love, you can never trust. If you find it difficult to trust someone, then don’t try loving them. The first attribute of a trustworthy person is Truth. A trustworthy person never supports evil but rejoices in the truth. Can you trust me?
Protection; this is not just physically but also emotionally. Protecting the interests of the one you love in season and out the season. That means even when you have a hitch you still have their back.
It means standing up for them in their worst state and still saying I got you. It means guiding them away from harm, dangerous decisions, toxic people, and relationships even when you will be at risk.
Love Always Hopes Always preserves
Love never fails
In conclusion, we don’t fall in love all of a sudden, that is not love, its infatuation. Love is not overnight or impromptu, Love is a walk. Any love that happens suddenly to strangers is only a rush of emotional affection or feeling. It is not loving, and it will fail if there is no effort to sustain it.
Love is deliberate, sacrificial, demanding and has the tendency to make or break. Yes there are cases of people who just met themselves and all of a sudden their world seems so perfect and we say its love at first sight but it is not.
It is only a matter of time for them to realize and go their separate ways or make it work. People that have been together for a long time will tell you it is not the same way they feel as of the first time they started their journey.
Before you fall in Love, take your time to know if you have these attributes, less, or nil. Then, start working on the nil or less you have discovered. Love first start by making yourself lovable and loving yourself before it is accorded to another.
Don’t be in a hurry to fall in love and don’t be in a hurry to believe it when it is only said. TAKE YOUR TIME
Love is a visible word, it speaks, it moves, it is obvious. Take your time, don’t fall for it……..
NOTE; These tips will only help you understand what it takes to Love someone but remember, it’s a Relationship, its two-way. When you’re not being loved after al you have tried, don’t KILL YOURSELF, GO WHERE THE LOVE IS
GOD IS LOVE
STAY TUNED FOR THE CONTINUING SERIES
DEFINING RELATIONSHIP, AVOIDING DIVORCE
(HOW NOT TO FALL FOR THE WRONG PERSON)