DEALING WITH CRITICISM
WHAT IS CRITICISM?
An expression of disapproval on the basis of perceived fault, and or mistakes The act of criticizing; A critical judgment passed or expressed, an observation or detailed examination and review.
HUMAN DIVERSITY IN APPROACH
Let us start by saying, the opinions of people over any matter differ and could be strongly influenced by many factors. These factors include their; background, culture, traditions, belief, faith, school of thought, association, information available to them, history, experience, emotions, exposure and so on.
Humans are wired to adapt to the prevailing modus operandi anywhere they find themselves. Adaptability is a trait in every human though there could be an initial struggle when we change the environment but sure we will adapt. Like we often say ‘when you get to Rome, you act like the Romans’
Now, these factors aforementioned define our way of life and standard of living. Thus, it affects our opinions and dispositions to various aspects of our livelihood. When a man speaks, he speaks from the well of knowledge he has acquired, experience gained or history told, information available to him and what have you.
These factors create a dominant reality and a standard of way of life for as long it’s comfortable and easy to live by. Therefore, anything contrary will be contested by our default or adopted principle.
This is the reason why people think differently on the same issues, and seem to have a strong reason why they do so. But, not widely accepted by all, because there is always a reason why another person will not agree.
It is very difficult or nearly impossible to be universally correct in our world. So in dealing with criticism, one must first understand this fact.
Now that this has been established, let us look at why YOU are being criticized.
1. You Are Doing Something
This is the first reason why you will be criticized. Nobody talks about Nothing, something must be the reasons behind a comment, observation, condemnation, appraisal, etc. Even when you are doing nothing, you’re doing something.
This is only irrelevant to those living in isolation or cut out from the rest of the world. But if you live among men whatever you do and don’t do, will raise eyebrows. So get ready, it’s a must, no escape.
2. They Can See It
When it is visible, it is prone to comments and contest. Only those in isolation never experience this, and isolation is gradually losing its grip in this jet age. Information is on high speed and at the fingertips.
A man can travel the world in 8minutes, sitting on a couch and having a cold fizzy drink. Everything seems to be in the open unless you consciously keep it a secret and that means telling none other. So you are criticized because they see what you are doing. If the impact of what you are doing is not visible or tangible then it’s irrelevant. As long as the eyes can see it the mouth will talk about it.
3. They Know You
You might wonder, do all my critics know me? Yes, they do!! Not always personally, but because you’re doing something. Whenever you do something and people talk about it, they come to know what you do or what you are doing Matt 13;55-58.
Critics pay attention to what you are doing more than why you are doing it. So you are defined by what you do and will be a disaster if that negates who you truly are or why you do it. What you do is the easiest definition of who you are to people, though, not always accurate.
4. They Love you, or they don’t
Being defined by what you do, gives people the choice to either love you, or otherwise, and often times indifferent. When people share from your line of thought or accept your perspective on things they are automatically drawn to you.
They will accept you for what you do and could even love you with time. But when they don’t, they resent everything you do and stand for. We must know that this is the case for everyone, in reality, you are either loved or not and it’s a standard. Everyone will not be on your side.
When they love;
i. They want the best for you, so their criticism is structural and constructive. They make suggestions on how to better improve your delivery or output.
ii. They support you even when you are at your lowest point, they make up for your motivation to keep pushing.
iii. They believe in what you are doing and take out time to be involved or be a part of it.
When they don’t;
i. They make destructive and demeaning criticism. They don’t always know what they want to do but will help you damage what you are doing.
ii. They don’t support what you are doing but always duly informed about everything you do and readily alert to finding fault.
iii. They are not always happy you are doing something they aren’t so they are jealous, envious, resentful.
The irony is we have more folks in the second category than in the first. There are more people that criticize because they don’t like or believe in what you do, and they are also vital to our success in life.
DEALING WITH CRITICISM
In handling critics and criticism we must do the following,
- Start with what you are doing. Ask yourself, am I doing the right thing? Its true people will always talk to and about you but you must first make sure you have spoken to yourself, you believe in what you are doing and it is the right thing to do.
Accept that criticism is a fundamental trait in the human race and you can’t avoid it. People will always talk about something or someone whether good or bad. They talked about Jesus, Matt 13;55 they called him the son of the carpenter in order to limit what could come out of him. So they could not benefit from His visit because of unbelief
3. Understand that their history, background, and line of thought and so on could be the reason for their criticism. So don’t be offended at the fruit, but the root when u can’t trace it, ignore it. This for those with destructive criticism
- Look at the number and class of critics and find out if their criticism is constructive. Are they pointing out things you should look into? Or, all you see is hate and resentment.
Build yourself a wall with the stones they throw at you, at this point you are already fortified beyond their reach. Don’t throw the stones back at them use it instead to build a brick wall or a mountain that you rise above their reach.
This is when you critically analyze everyone that is constructive to improve and build a more solid system. When you get better at what you do, they will adjust.
Finally, go for results. This is the best way to silence critics and haters, get it RIGHT.
The same talkers and doubters will come to ask you how you did it.
Humans are attracted to progress, success, and excellence.
Yes, Criticism is a must and must be handled properly. It has the power to make or mar you. In all GET RESULTS and Stand Out
RESULT TERMINATES INSULT